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That Midlife ADHD Post

I think I've briefly talked about my midlife ADHD diagnosis and then sort ot stopped talking about. Let me go into why that is in hopes that this reaches someone who understands and needed this reassurance. 

If we haven't met, my name is Trish. I am 42 years old and was diagnosed with ADHD 2 weeks after I turned 40 (in January of 2023). It was a shock because I never expected it. I've spent the last 2 years figuring it out, mostly silently. I'd like to share some of it, if not for you, for me, which by the way ISN'T selfish. 

When I got my diagnosis, it almost felt trendy to have ADHD. EVERYONE seemed to be talking about it in some way and a lot of them make it seem like it was funny. I felt like a fraud speaking about it. Like someone would call me out on just jumping on a trend, or at least that's how my brain processed that feeling. Which is common with ADHD by the way. 

At that time I was going through a lot of health issues and also trying to keep up in my business. I was burnt out and overwhelmed and adding this new identity to myself felt like an attack I didn't need. The only thing I knew how to do was research. I even thought at one point that I should incorporate it into my business. 

But then came that fraud/imposter feeling again. Add it to my business? Who was I? I was no expert. How could I speak about this when I had zero clue on how to handle it myself. At this point my business started declining. I was too overwhelmed to keep it all together. I called myself mean names and put myself down. I thought the ones already talking about it were the experts. Maybe I should just leave it to them to help "people like me". 

People like me... That kept coming back to me. What did that mean? I ultimately have lived my whole life with this and was now waiting for someone else to tell me what to do. I guess in some instances, that makes sense. This felt different. 

To be transparent, I trained for years for this and didn't even know it. If you have ADHD you probably are familiar with skill collecting and hyperfocusing. You go from thing to thing to thing. But have you ever stopped to pay attention to what you are guided towards that stick? Are there trends in what you gravitate towards? I don't mean that random hyperfocus that lasts for 2 weeks, but the ones that stay with you. 

For me, it was holistic practices. I went and completed a 200-hour yoga teacher training and meditation certification. I got certified in Reiki. I trained to be a life coach. When I was diagnosed with ADHD something clicked in me. These tools were meant to help me in this journey. That brought me some peace. That's all I wanted. Something to help me feel more like me. 

I never saw myself as an influencer of any kind, but more of a book of resources or maybe a buddy of some sort. I've tried to create content around it to incorporate into my business (coaching/energy healing), but I've always felt like I was masking who I really was. Look at my TikTok, I look so stiff and uncomfortable in the couple of videos I've posted. I've thought about roasting myself on this.. lol

Anyway, the point of all if this is to remind you, my amazing reader, that everyone's ADHD story is different, yet we all may feel the same. That imposter feeling. That lonely loner feeling. The mean to ourselves feeling. The we aren't enough feeling. The burnout feeling. Whatever it is, your ADHD isn't a trend. It's a part of your identity. That part of you may not have been invited, but they are here to stay. 

Take deeper looks at yourself. I know it's scary. I too freak out all the time over it. The more you tune into yourself, the more you can understand yourself. Those skills you've collected may be a key in all of it. Maybe it will lead you to a purpose that feels right for you. For me, it always leads me back here. To this blog. Where nothing ever stays the same in topics, but my reason is always the same.. to be a resource. To share my heart. To help someone else even if I never know about it. 

I feel like I'm in a blog season. Lots to share. I'll be back soon. Until then, much love. 

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Spring into Action: Setting Goals with a Splash of Sunshine!

Setting Spring Goals

As the days grow longer and flowers start to bloom, there's an undeniable sense of renewal in the air. Spring is nature's way of reminding us that it's never too late to plant seeds. Start setting goals and cultivating new ideas. In this blog post, let's embrace the magic of the season and embark on a journey of goal-setting that's as bright and refreshing as a spring day.

Embracing the Joy of Goal-Setting

Spring is the season when motivation starts to peak after the long months of winter, especially if you live in a place that is cold and gray. Just as nature comes alive, so can you. Take the motivation that the sunshine brings and use it to set goals.

Here are a few tips to help you embrace the joy of goal-setting this spring:

  1. Plant Seeds of Intention: Like a gardener tending to a flower bed, take some time to reflect on what you hope to cultivate in your life this season. What dreams have been poking at you in those quiet moments? Whether it's learning a new skill, building relationships, or embarking on an adventure, let your heart be your guide as you plant seeds of intention for the months ahead.


  3. Bloom Where You're Planted: Just as each flower blooms in its own time and way, so do you. Embrace the process, trusting that every step forward—even the small one—is a victory worth celebrating. Remember, it's the journey, not just the destination, that brings us fulfillment.


  5. Tend to Your Inner Garden: Just as a flower needs water and sunlight to thrive, so do you. Take time each day to nurture your mind, body, and spirit through practices that bring you joy. Whether it's a walk in nature, a cozy cup of tea, or a moment of quiet reflection, prioritize self-care as you tend to the garden of your soul.


All goals do not have to be huge and scary. Spring is a good time to remember the small things in life that bring you joy. Little things can open up doors to those bigger dreams you have. Enjoy the beauty of your surroundings as the earth blooms and notice those quiet moments when you become curious. Explore those curiosities. You never know where they will take you...

Happy Spring Friends.
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Reaching Goals Revamped


Is February like January to anyone else? And what I mean by that is something kicks into gear and I get motivated for my goals again. 

I seem to have a track record of coming back to old projects, thinking up new ideas or simply feeling like I'm making progress in February. Enter, the blogs back together. 

I got super motivated when I realized my Facebook page for this blog is still active. If you're not following me there, please do. I'm gonna post fun stuff there again. 

Also, what socials do you all prefer these days? Are we all hanging out on TikTok? Is Instagram still cool? Is there anyone who isn't angry at Facebook? Anything new I'm not up to date on? Drop your responses in the comments or on my Facebook page. 

Anyway.. I promised I would write a post to outline stuff I would be writing here moving forward. I hope this is helpful.

Topics

1. Lifestyle Stuff: Cool things I like and think you may like too. Maybe some minor fashion. Maybe. 

2. Life Stories: Our stories can often be the manuals for others to navigate their own lives. I have a lot of manuals to share and like to keep most of them in humor to keep it lite, but there are also some heavy topics I could touch on. 

3. Spirituality: Like mind, body and spirit stuff. Over the years I've done a lot of soul searching and got certified in some things.
 Yoga, Reiki, Life Coach, and other random little things I can speak on. I also like touching on the psychology of marketing. 

4. Entrepreneur Stuff: I've been an entrepreneur for about 3 years now full time. I suppose you can call this blog a part of my entrepreneur journey because early on it was generating money. 

*Fun fact, I did such a good job with building this blog that I don't even have to blog for years and still get thousands of views a month. I had to figure that all out on my own a decade ago. 

5. Wellness: I have a lot of stories to tell about health and wellness. This includes things like dealing with black mold, being frustrated when doctors don't listen, food sensitivities, yoga, journaling, weight struggles, healing on multiple levels: mind, body and soul, mental health and ADHD and the list goes on. 

6. Book Review: I'm reading a ton so I might share here, but mostly I mat share some of the book I'm currently writing. It's fiction rom-com featuring a woman with ADHD. I'm proud of where it's going and would be honored to get feedback from you. 

There are a lot of things here. I've never wanted to settle on just one subject. I'm sure I could but my ADHD mind would get bored so I would just assume so would yours. 

I'm excited for this space. I'm excited to come back regularly. And I'm glad to unlearn some of the marketing strategies I've learned over the years because I realized that when I focused heavily on marketing and what everyone else said or did I lost my path and my authentic voice. 

I don't want to write for views. I want to write because I can help people while also healing myself with my words. 

Talk soon. 

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How I Went Viral

How I went Viral

It's no secret that the goal these days for budding influencers is to go viral. Everyone wants that viral video or ahem blog post to get noticed. Let me tell you about when I went viral. Was it due to SEO? Probably not. It was right here on this blog. Weird right? That's exactly what I thought one day after noticing I had thousands of visitors every day for a week. This was over a year after I wrote the blog and after I had downsized how often I was writing quite a bit. I of course needed to go investigate where they were coming from.

I wrote a post in November of 2016 about the outfits I wore through all of the wedding festivities leading up to my wedding. It just so happened I had met someone who became a friend who sold Lularoe. You remember the craze of Lularoe when it came out right?

Well if you don't, think buttery soft leggings. Anyway, I just so happened to wear a lot of Lularoe at that time in my life and because I was dabbling in writing more about fashion at the time, I decided to write this post. 

Well, let's just say there is a Reddit thread dedicated to how much people dislike Lularoe and someone posted my blog post in that feed. Someone thought I was a retailer for Lularoe and posted how crazy I was to try to sell my product at my wedding.. which wasn't true by the way. 

The person I did buy my clothes from does still sell Lularoe today and you can find her website here. She is a great person who really knows her stuff about style and sizing. If you're looking for help, check her out. This isn't a place to debate whether you like the company or not, so let's not go there, please. 

The point of this post is to remind people that going viral can be very random. Things you never thought in a million years would somehow end up posted where a lot of eyes see it. It could've been something you did just for fun with no intention of anyone ever seeing it.

I know it's frustrating. I worked in marketing for a decade before I started my own business and it was always so hit or miss on what took off and what didn't. Things that I spent hours or days on went nowhere and things I posted on a whim would get the most views and engagement. It is a simple reminder that being original is the best way to get noticed. 

So to end this post with a giggle, I now rank on Google for Lularoe. That post is still my most viewed of all time and I strongly believe it is why I still get thousands of hits on this blog each month without posting anything at all. I just looked and one of my top posts viewed this month was a blog about visiting Maine back in 2014. Not too shabby for being almost 10 years old. SEO at its finest. That being said, in 2024 this blog is coming back to life. 

I know I have said that before, but it's happening. It will always be a place of adventure and wonder and will intertwine my current life shenanigans and things to educate in places I feel worthy of educating. Currently, I spend a lot of time working on my businesses which focus on marketing, social media, writing, and holistic services. I know it's a hodge podge of things that somehow fit together. If you want to see what that looks like, visit my website at Zen Between the Chaos. 

Hope to see you in the new year! Enjoy the rest of 2023!
 
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Does money stress us out?

Life stresses me out

I often come back to this space when things are on my mind. I always want to continue writing when things feel important. Many years ago, when I was living alone, barely making ends meet, and needing something to keep me busy, I started this blog. 

It is a diary of sorts of what has gone on with me over the past decade. That I am truly grateful for. At one time this space was being used to earn money. It was the only focus I had at the time. When I started to make money, it became a very different space for me. It no longer felt like a place to escape and connect. It was a job. 

Last night as I was falling asleep I had a conversation with my husband about my stress and how I couldn't quite pinpoint what was causing it. I lay there for a few minutes and it hit me. Money. 

I grew up being taught that when you make a lot of money that means you are successful. I also grew up with the belief that you do not quit your job unless you have a new one lined up. Money was going to make me happy so I needed to make sure I was always making lots of it. 

I stayed in my first "real" job for almost 10 years. I never made enough money, but in my small town, there really wasn't much else. If I didn't decide to move, I probably would still be working there if I am being honest. 

This move is where my money stress began. Things of course did not go as planned and things became a struggle. I was chasing the money just to survive. I have worked 2 and 3 jobs at a time just to meet the bare minimum. I made many job changes for better-paying jobs with bigger titles. As I got to the top of that mountain I realized, I was not that happy. I was able to support myself, making lots of money, but the happiness wasn't there. The stress increased. What was wrong?

Often times when we get bigger titles with more money, that comes with more responsibility. Now I am not saying I don't want responsibility, please don't misunderstand, but what I do mean is I took work home with me. I always felt like I needed to be "on". I never just turned it all off to relax. 

When you don't take the time to shut down and relax, you stay in a state of fight or flight. This isn't healthy. We live in constant stress and in turn, it causes health issues, anxiety, poor sleep patterns, etc. 

in October of 2021, I quit working full-time and went down to part-time. By the summer of 2022, I made the choice to 100% quit working for someone else and to work only for myself. Almost as quick as I quit that job, I committed to another person to help out part-time. 

I continue this pattern as I continue to heal myself and the money wound I have. When I "help" people out in business, I tend to take on all the stress that I wanted to leave in having a job. This time around I have started to finally put up boundaries. I will not bring home my work because I run my own business and that is what I work on at home. 

It has been a learning curve, but it is something that I realized has limited me to succeeding in my own interests. Being an entrepreneur is a new thing but it is also something that tests you in every aspect of your life. I would never give it up for anything, but it reminds me of how far I have come. 

Every day I learn a little more about my comfort levels and what I am willing to do to succeed. I wish I could help everyone all the time to succeed in business and in life, but I realized by doing that I can't succeed myself 100%.

I am less stressed now making less money than when I was at the top of my career. I am much happier now that I realized a lot of that stress came from bringing work home and always worrying about what others would think at my job. Now I focus on the important tasks and get them done - both in my business, my client's businesses, and my life. 

I am not saying that being successful at your job is wrong, but I want it to be okay for you to feel unhappy even when people assume you have it all. Having it all doesn't always mean happiness. 

When you start feeling unhappy or stressed out in your job and it continues on with no end, it is time to get quiet and see what has changed. Allow yourself grace as you put up boundaries and make choices that may feel uncomfortable. 

If you need help in this area and would like to do some coaching or energy healing, schedule a free consultation with me and we can get it sorted out. 

Talk soon!
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